And this week we return to the old standbys – the Great Lakes Avengers (Defenders/X-Men/Champions) – and more specifically, they’re second in command.

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Now generally, I defend gay characters in comics. However, this tool is beyond help. It’s never a good way to start a character off to have them be a direct copy of another character. Usually the chracter their based off of has a much stronger history and fan base. Like Mr. Fantastic, a genius with a hot wife, who leads the Fantastic Four, the original superteam. From him we get, Flatman, a mary with a foot fetish, who is the second in command for a team of super-dorks, based in the Great Lakes. And his powers are just like Mr. Fantastic, except he’s… FLAT. So he can stretch and bend just like Mr. Fantastic. He can even turn invisible by turning sideways. Just like Nicole Ritchie & the Olsen twins.

But to give him a tragic flaw, like being a lame charcter wasn’t enough, Flatman is stuck in his 2 dimensional state. Never to know a proper man’s touch, and always in fear of a strong gust of wind. I say we put him in a paper shredder, and use the shreds to line the bottom of Squirrel Girl’s cage. Oy!

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