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Today we take a look at…
SQUIRREL GIRL

Yeah. I almost don’t need to type anything at all. That name is lame enough, and pretty much paints the full dumbass picture.

But here goes.

Squirrel Girl, AKA Doreen Green (rhyming is never a good sign), has the mutant ability to speak to squirrels (I never knew they were so chatty) and possesses many squirrel-like traits. These include big ol’ buck teeth that are strong enough to chew through wood, she can jump through trees, and she has sharp claws. Oh and a tail. A big old bushy tail. Also, like Batman, Squirrel Girl has a utility belt. No bat-a-rangs for this girl, though, she keeps nuts in her belt. Yup, her “Nut Sacks” are filled with treats for her furry four-legged friends. See kids, the comedy just writes itself for this gal!! She is a member of the Great Lakes Avengers, a team solely comprised of lame characters, who are sure to pop up in future posts. And, I can’t imagine she’s very popular with the men; since her teeth can cut through “wood”, she has a bushy 3-4 foot tail getting in the way of the back door, and her Nut Sacks are enough to make any chap feel inadequate.

However, she has been able to put a hurtin’ on Dr. Doom, Thanos, and Deadpool; so it just goes to show that any comic writer has the ability to make a tard into a titan. Oy!

heh… nut sacks

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