July 2006


Why the crap do I have “there’s no place like home for the holidays” stuck in my head in the middle of a hot ass day in July?

i’m sucked into another season of Big Brother… realization while surfing the net:
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Christina Aguilera vs. Janelle from Big Brother 6 & All-Stars.

hmmmmmm…

Well, today is the day! I have made it to:
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Since I first started up my blog on June 5th, 2006, I have had 1,000 hits. So far!

Thanks to the people who chek regularly and give me feedback. Thanks to the people who just took a peek. Let me know if there’s anything I should do different or whatever.

I’m gonna go celebrate with a smoke and a candy bar! Hooray!!

1. Deja-Vu – Beyonce (B’Day) – Ok, so I make fun of Beyonce… a little… the weave, the ugly boyfriend, the album named after a toilet that cleans out your hoo-ha; but damn if that girl didn’t drop a hot record. Upbeat R & B, a party record, and her voice is killin’ it without overkill.
2. Waiting For The World To Change – John Mayer (Continuum) – Okay. I have an inner hippie. I went to Lilith Fair, I enjoy acoustic guitars, I hate wearing shoes, I hate shaving. If my inner hippie were a real person, it would be John Mayer. The man has brilliant lyrics, and can make some dynamite music. Soulful, not too hard, not too soft… I can’t wait to hear the rest of the album.
3. Weekend – Janet (leaked) – Okay. So i heard this a while ago and hated it. Then I realized what it was. It’s a grower, not a shower. Janet has never has the strongest vocals, and this track doesn’t disprove that, however the track they’re laid down on is like crumping on a space station. If you can imagine one of Janet’s hot dance routines going on with this song, then you’re able to forgive her for her tissue paper thin vocals. I’m still nervous about the album, though this won’t be on it. It was leaked through her website for like.. a day, then removed after a bunch of negative feedback.
4. Beecharmer – Nellie McKay & Cyndi Lauper (Pretty Little Head) – Columbia Records are assholes. They tried to flex too much muscle with this girl’s creativity, and sadly, her second album is likely to not be released. I’ve had mad respect for Nellie since her first album, “Get Away From Me”, a direct insult to Whore-ah Jones’ “Come Away With Me”. She has an incredible dry wit and just finished the Broadway run of “Threepenny Opera” with none other then Cyndi Lauper, who appears on this duet. Cyndi Fucking Lauper. One of the greatest performers living or dead. But it’s a fucking crime that this song is not going to be released.
5. Hand On Your Heart – Jose Gonzalez (Hand On Your Heart) – We all know I love Kylie, even some of her scarier 80’s moment. Well one of her most cringe-worthy 80’s ditties has been reworked into an inspired guitar ballad. Who knew!?

I’m starting to look like a total Civil War junkie… but the story is hot, and I’m totally sucked in… oh well

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Amazing Spider-Man #534 – It looks like Civil War could have some strong overall changes for the webhead. New costume, outted to the world as a superhero. Allegedly, Spider-Man is going to change sides on the Registration debate, so it’ll be interesting to see if there was truth to that rumor.
Civil War: Front Line #4 – This one keeps chugging along. Who knew people would ever feel sorry for Speedball!? He’s kind of a goofy almost dimwit level chracter, but his story in this book really fleshes out a strong character.
Civil War: Young Avengers/Runaways #1 – The Civil War tie-in focusing on Marvel’s two hot teen groups. The Young Avengers are teens from NYC who are basically a younger version of the Avengers without actually being there kids (sort of). The Runaways are an LA based group who started up when they found out they were the children of super-villains who ran crime in LA. I’m excited to see how the teams react, plus this is the only way to see the Young Avengers monthly, since their book is on a temporary hiatus while the writer whores himself out to DC to write the new Wonder Woman series.
New Avengers #22 – It’s thrilling to see this team being torn apart by the Civil War. Who is siding with Cap and who is siding with Iron Man!? Let’s find out together!
Storm #6 – The ending to the origin story of Storm that revealed that back in her thief days, Storm met and fell for the Black Panther, when he was just a lad too. He popped her cherry last issue, and this one has the big fight seen with some mean hunter/jerky type guys. Wedding next month kids.
Wolverine #44 – Wolvie continues to chase down Nitro, to bring him to justice for blowing up half the town of Stamford Connecticut, and therfore igniting the whole Civil War/Superhero Registration Act business. Last issue we saw Nitro burn Wolvie to a metal skeleton, then saw him almost fully healed a few pages later. That’s taking the healing factor a little too far, I think.
X-Men #189 – I could get used to the 2 main X-books being biweekly. Rogue’s new team should finish developing this issue, then I imagine they’re gonna high-tail it to Mexico to find out why some new bad guys blew up a town and blamed it on the X-Men.

Luckily, some books got delayed this week, so it’ll be a little easier on the pocketbook.

So I have a confession to make. To those of you who have known me for years, it’s probably not a surprise, but maybe some of my newer friends and acquaintances and blog readers don’ know this.

I USED TO HAVE THE BIGGEST F-ING CRUSH ON LANCE BASS!!!
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That’s right kids, Lance is officially out of the closet, as the Friday July 28, 2006’s “People” magazine reveals. Gay. GAY! Sadly, my crush, as they are wont to do, has waned over the years. I settled down, got engaged, and stopped pining away for celebrities, and focused my attentions on a man I see everyday. However, about 6 years ago, I was like a 12 year old girl in a 20 year old male body. Posters on the wall, all their cd’s, I even dragged my BFF to the opening weekend of Lance’s cinematic triumph:t16731ha6lq.jpg

He was, and still is really, so dreamy. That vacant expression, those dreamboat eyes, and somehing there to set off my gaydar. Some people were all about Justin or JC, no one was ever into Joey Fat-One, or the tard with the fake dreadlocks, but me, myself, and I? I was all about some Lance. I was even fortunate enough to have floor seats to their first major arena tour of the US, and wouldn’t you know it, he “flew” (on wires) right over my seat. Perhaps to sprinkle fairy dust on my lust filled heart. Unfortunately, between my own personal maturing, and him toppling out of the spotlight; my feelings have mellowed with age. However, I do remember a time, where his coming out, would have resulted in me basically stalking him.

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So why now? And who cares? My BFF and I were chatting this morning when the news came out (no pun intended) as to why Lance’s coming out would result in a cover story on “People”. He’s basically a C-List celebrity now, and his failed attempt in outer space travel is really the last time anyone’s really heard about him. However, he was a member of one of the greatest boy bands ever, so he’ll probably always be, at least a little bit, famous. Plus, celebrities don’t come out anymore. They’re either gay from the start, or closeted for forever. Sure some dy-cons came out several years ago (Ellen, Melissa, Rosie), but guys just don’t do it in America. I guess Lance is at a point where coming out would no longer put his career, or those of his Nsync buddies, on the line (pun intended).

In closing, congratulations Lance. You did a brave thing. And you’re boyfriend is HOT! I guess since I was no longer available, Reichen from “The Amazing Race” is a worthy substitute.

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So my office building was all a-twitter this morning as something, less than corporate was found growing on our property. Our grounds are currently all awry because we are in construction os a second building for our offices to expand. Well somewhere on the property a special plant was found. A medium sized marijuana plant. Oh my!!

Now, my days of puff puff give are behind me, but I felt sympathy pains for all my friends who would LOVE to have made a discovery like that. Several jokes were made by stuffy old men about what we should do with it, and as I type this, I’m sure it’s in the dumpster right now. At least there was a little hump day excitement, God knows it’s been a dull week otherwise.

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Today we take a look at…
SQUIRREL GIRL

Yeah. I almost don’t need to type anything at all. That name is lame enough, and pretty much paints the full dumbass picture.

But here goes.

Squirrel Girl, AKA Doreen Green (rhyming is never a good sign), has the mutant ability to speak to squirrels (I never knew they were so chatty) and possesses many squirrel-like traits. These include big ol’ buck teeth that are strong enough to chew through wood, she can jump through trees, and she has sharp claws. Oh and a tail. A big old bushy tail. Also, like Batman, Squirrel Girl has a utility belt. No bat-a-rangs for this girl, though, she keeps nuts in her belt. Yup, her “Nut Sacks” are filled with treats for her furry four-legged friends. See kids, the comedy just writes itself for this gal!! She is a member of the Great Lakes Avengers, a team solely comprised of lame characters, who are sure to pop up in future posts. And, I can’t imagine she’s very popular with the men; since her teeth can cut through “wood”, she has a bushy 3-4 foot tail getting in the way of the back door, and her Nut Sacks are enough to make any chap feel inadequate.

However, she has been able to put a hurtin’ on Dr. Doom, Thanos, and Deadpool; so it just goes to show that any comic writer has the ability to make a tard into a titan. Oy!

heh… nut sacks

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OK, so I knew she was popular. But, DAMN.

So I dutifully woke up at 4 am on Friday, to go online and purchase my tickets to see Kylie at Wembley Arena in London, the first week of January, 2007. I was met with terrible internet problems, and was unable to get my tickets.

You know why?

Because the bitch (said lovingly) sold out in 6 minutes. SIX! I’ve spent six minutes sitting at traffic lights before. So I won’t be making my dream trip to the UK in January, as hoped.

However I am so proud of Kylie, and glad so many people are so excited to see her.

And at least I’ll have spending money for the rest of the year!!

Music Meme

UPDATE 7/24/06 I added some more lyrics to the one’s no ones guessed yet… We’ll see if that finishes this one up!

UPDATE 7/28/06 Closed out… new one on the way

The Rules (in case you want to do it too!)

Step 1: Put your iPod/MP3 player or iTunes on random.
Step 2: Post the first line(s) from the first 20 songs that play, no matter how embarrassing the song.
Step 3: Post it on your blog and let everyone guess what song and artist the lines come from.
Step 4: Strike out the songs when someone guesses correctly & post the title in bold after the stricken song.
Step 5: Looking the lyrics up on Google or any other search engine is cheating! Please play nice!

Also, if you know the song – leave your guess in a comment, if you are right, I will post your name (or link if you prefer). Have fun!

The Songs

1. “well this car is automatic it’s systematic it’s hydromatic” Grease Lightning – John Travolta :ShannonH:

2. “feeling unknown & you’re all alone flesh & bone by the telephone lift up the receiver I’ll make you a believer” Personal Jesus – Depeche Mode :ShannonH:

3. “her name was Lola she was a showgirl with yellow feathers in her hair & a dress cut down to there” Copacabana – Barry Manilow :ShannonH:

4. “now it seems to me that you know just what to say but words are only words can you show me something else?” Lonely No More – Rob Thomas :ShannonH:

5. “just before our love got lost you said I am as constant as a northern star & I said, constant in the darkness where’s that at if you want me I’ll be in the bar” A Case of You – Tori Amos (Joni Mitchell cover) :ShannonH:

6. “there’s a calm surrender to the rush of day when the heat of a rolling wind can be turned away an enchanted moment, and it sees me through it’s enough for this restless warrior just to be with you” Can You Feel The Love Tonight – Elton John :HouseBitch:

7. “did you really think that I would really take you back let you back in my heart one more time oh no no did you think that I still care that there be more feeling there did you think you could walk back in my life so you found you miss the love you threw away baby but you found it out too late so now you know the way it feels to cry” I Learned From the Best – Whitney Houston

8. “where did we go wrong where did we lose our faith my brother is in need but can he depend on me do you think if one of you tried maybe you could find a better friend than any other if you gave more than you took life could be so good come on & try now’s the time” Free – Ultra Nate

9. “what an amazing time what a family how did the years go by now it’s only me tic toc tic toc tic toc tic toc like a cat in heat stuck in a moving car a scary conversation shut my eyes can’t find the brake” What You Waiting For – Gwen Stefani

10. “the trouble with schools is they all try & teach the wrong lessons believe me I’ve been kicked out enough of them to now” Dancing Through Life – Wicked OBCR :EddieZ:

11. “heaven bend to take my hand lead me through the fire be the long awaited answer to a long & painful fight” Fallen – Sarah McLachlan :ShannonH:

12. “down down down in your heart find find find the secret turn turn turn your head around baby we can do it we can do it all right” Get Together – Madonna :EddieZ:

13. “down to the disco everything stops walkin’ in solo everyone drops hey summer madness totally cool my heart starts racing when I see you ooh ooh ooooh oohhh” Burning Up – Kylie Minogue

14. “I heard she mad rich I heard she dead broke I heard she sniffin’ coke” Shut Up Bitch – Lil’ Kim :ShannonH:

15. “thought that I was goin’ crazy just having one of those days didn’t know what to do then there was you & everything went from wrong to right & the stars came out and filled up the sky the music you were playing really blew my mind” Love At First Sight

16. “busted flat in Baton Rouge waiting for a train & is feelin nearly as faded as my jeans Bobby thumbed a diesel down just before it rained it rode us all the way in to New Orleans” Me & My Bobby McGee – Janis Joplin :EddieZ:

17. “me with the floorshow kickin with your torso boys getting high & the girls even more so wave your hands if your not with the man can I kick it (yes you can)” Rock DJ – Robbie Williams :ShannonH:

18. “you were my sun you were my earth but you didnt know all the ways I loved you no so you took a chance & made other plans but I bet you didnt think your thing would come crashing down no you don’t have to say what you did I already know I found out from him now theres just no chance for you & me there’ll never be & don’t it make you sad about it” Cry Me A River – Justin Timberlake

19. “seems like just yesterday you were a part of me I used to stand so tall I used to be so strong your arms around me tight everything it felt so right unbreakable like nothin’ could go wrong” Behind These Hazel Eyes – Kelly Clarkson :ShannonH:

20. “you are my fire the one desire believe when I say” I Want It That Way – Dynamite Boy (Backstreet Boys Cover) :ShannonH:

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